My dad woke me up at 4:20 am. By 4:50 I was out the door helping my parents load their luggage into my two-door. Their bus would depart at 5:30 am for Jerez, Zacatecas and take them on a two week vacation to oversee the home they’re building.
I think I was pretty out of it. Awake, but I wasn’t processing anything that was happening.
As I left I caught my mother following me to make sure I got into my car safely. I got flashbacks to middle school when she would walk me all the the way to the front gate. Every day.
My mind was ruminating over the day ahead. Even though I was about to begin my third year in the classroom, the butterflies were ALIVE and BUSTLING inside my belly. My anxiety made me imagine the worst. I can’t really say what “the worst” would be, but it wouldn’t be pretty.
I stopped my routine to write myself a note about the qualities that make me a good educator. Sounds silly, but it helped. The self-affirmation made me feel more confident.
I also received a text message from my friend Megan, whom I met this summer. It was lovely to hear a good luck from her—almost like when a partner wishes you luck on your day in the morning. I’d like for her to be my lover, but the gay thing doesn’t help.
Overall, the day was fine. I didn’t really feel a spark with any of my classes. Things will pick up, I’m sure.
The joy came when I ran into some of my former students. It was so lovely to see them again! Later I checked in with some of the new teachers and we talked about our day.
The best part of my day was when the 7th grade math teacher said that he was suspicious about the new 7th graders. He said they seemed too prepared to be true. I selfishly asked him if he’s noticed a difference in the way English is taught at our school over the last few years and he said yes. A whole team of us worked to prepare those kids.
Let’s see what Day 2 brings us.